Hello, my name is Sue and I am a “hugger”. When you meet me for the first and definitely the second time, I will hug you. Of course, I do the mental gymnastics beforehand regarding how that will be received so if you are not a hugger, you will get the handshake…..oh wait, I can’t do that anymore either.
See here is my dilemma, I am struggling right now.
I miss the human connection that I get when I embrace someone.
I miss hugging my 85-year-old parents.
I miss hugging my extended family and my friends.
I am grieving the connection and how it fulfills me.
It doesn’t just fulfill me, it recharges my inner batteries.
I have done a great deal of thinking lately about this loss of connection. How I think as a "hugger", I may just have taken it for granted before all this. I am thinking about the fact that not hugging someone will not be forever, but for some time, it will be changed. That trust built through connection will be challenged. “Don’t get too close”, “What if Covid-19 is not gone?”, “Don’t hug me, don’t touch me.”
It makes me sad.
I deeply understand why I feel overwhelmed at times now. I can name the feeling - loss of connection.
So, what am I going to do with all of this?
I am going to compassionately BE with it.
I will, without judgment, allow those tears to run down my cheeks, they don’t last long, just long enough to express the feeling (usually in the morning with my coffee).
I will move through the emotion and this new normal with acceptance.
I will most definitely, when this is over, savour the hugs that I am allowed.
I will cherish the feeling of one’s hair as it brushes my cheek, the warmth of their back on my hands and the energy I feel as I leave that embrace.
Post Covid-19, this "hugger" will never again take human connection for granted.